i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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