You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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