I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
