He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
