Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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