Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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