Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
