Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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