He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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