Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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