hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
