Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?