I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO