I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....