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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden

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• (315): View more from New York

  its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?

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• (530): View more from California

  My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.

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