he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God