i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
