I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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