never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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