i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
