i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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