It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
