those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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