In the future we'll all be gay
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
