hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
