I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
