he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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