what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
