I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
