Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
