Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
