btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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