I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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