either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
