Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't deserve a penis
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
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So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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