I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
