he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
