suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
