If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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