is your mom at the bar?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
