well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
