so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I understand Curling. That high.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
