David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
