it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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