youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
