Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How does it feel to date your dad?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
