I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
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