I got chris browned last night
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
my liver is dry heaving
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
