maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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