I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
