we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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