bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize