so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
