I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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