We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
