He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
