my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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