All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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