Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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