i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
