The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize