New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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