Me too!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
