My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
false alarm. still invincible.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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