So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
