if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
