Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
